Thanksgiving is now behind us and the Christmas season is fast approaching.  With the hustle and bustle this time of year brings, I find myself in stores with all the other shoppers searching for that perfect gift or fun stocking stuffer. 

On this particular night, my husband and I went to one of our hometown shops to pick up pictures that I had had developed and to shop for filler gifts for our grandkids stockings.  One of our grandsons is soon to be 16 and is incredibly difficult to shop for so we felt as if we had hit a brick wall on what to get.  As we traversed each aisle, I finally stated that perhaps we just needed to get him a box of condoms.  My husband laughed, as did I and we continued toward the checkout, sans condoms. 

As I laid out our purchase on the counter, the cashier was giggling and said she had heard me tell my husband to get the condoms.  I just smiled as she continued to talk.  At that point, the cashier informed me that a man had just come up to the counter and purchased a box of condoms.  I stated that I was pleased that this individual was being responsible, then proceeded to tell the cashier that I was a sexual health educator within the community and that the mans purchase was my validation that people were beginning to understand the value of protection from an unwanted pregnancy and/or a sexually transmitted disease.  I do not think she heard a word I said because there was no acknowlegement as she continued in a hushed whisper, "and he was wearing a wedding ring!"  With a smug, triumphant look on her face, she took my debit card, gave me my receipt and told me to have a good evening.

Although this may not seem to be a huge deal, I find her insinuation rather unsettling.  Instead of congratulating someone on personal responsibility, this cashier implied something dark and perhaps unworthy of a married man.  Unfortunately, as a sexual health educator, this is common practice and until our communities begin to accept their responsibility regarding educating young and old alike on appropriate, medically accurate, sexual health education we will continue to hear the uneducated comments like those I heard while shopping. 

Consider this:
the young man who purchased the box of condoms is:

1. very considerate because his wife is allergic to sperm
2. minimizing the chance of an unplanned pregnancy because this is the only method of birth control he and his wife use
3. purchasing them for a friend
4. purchasing them for a family member
5. working at a shelter and wants to be sure the clients are safe